SIGH.
.
A mixture of feelings,
a bizarre of thoughts.
.
:(

I LOVE POHFENG SO VERY MUCH.

:D

XIN NIAN KUAI LE ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE!
I wish you all the best cny yet,
and a prosperous one!
May it be a good time of get-togethers with your families!
&friends :)
.
I've been having a great time with my family.
There have been pretty big problems between my dad and his siblings,
yet I thank God this situation has given a chance for my family to stand even closer tgt,
and our familyship to be more tightly knitted :)
.
Here's a pic of my very gorgeous parents on chu 1:

&here's a video of my annual cny ritual. HEH :D

.

GONG XI FA CAI!

Everyday at work is a new adventure,
not necessarily in a good way. :/ heh.
.
Here's one of the interesting phone conversations I have had today:
.
Gwen: My company dropped you an email regarding a food exhibition in Middle East.
The other party: Where?
Gwen: Middle East
The other party: Middle East? Is that a shopping centre?
Gwen: Huh? Uh, noooooo. It's another country.
.
Also, this other party I called put me through 4 extensions! o.o Each time I spoke to a new person, they just put me through to another person! It was, cool. Haha. :S
.
Well, tmr's my last day at workkkk! Yippee! :D
&it's a half day!
Then I'm gonna play my heart out the next one week.
Whee, I can't wait! :)
.
It's dinner at Cine for me later manxzxz!
.
Oh yes have I mentioned before? I love CNY!
More than just the hongbaos(but yes I do love hongbaos, a lot),
it's about the home visitations and gatherings!!!
Yay can't wait to visit my grandparents and meet up with longtimenosee relatives.
&to fellowship with dear fwenzzz.
&&the steamboats!!
& yes, I can't wait to wear my new clothes too! Mwaha.
.
Oh how can I forget,
I LOVE YUSHENG TOOOOOO.
LAOOOOO AHHHHHHHH.

So today at work, I basically had two types of expression.
1) O.O
I had this expression whilst making phone calls.
Some of the people I talked to were just really weird.
.
2) :'(
I teared...
Cause I had wasabi nuts.
It was hot manxzxz.
The wasabi feeling just went allllllllll the way up to my nose,
& then stimulated tears.
.
My week has been pretty good so far.
I've been feeling strangely tired. :/
I've been sleeping as early as twelve midnight, haha!
I normally really sleep later than that.
&it's really those I-can't-take-it tired. Erps.
.
---------------
.

Open doors.
Recently, there have been more open doors for me to use the talents God has given me to serve Him.
&I'm thankful for such opportunities.
To write, to teach, to connect, to lead.
These are privileges I never want to belittle nor despise,
and I will cease the moment,
&rise up to the occasion,
to do more..
For noone else, but Him.
To serve Him, to please Him, to be a vessel for Him.
.
--------------
.
Oh dear friends, come my house during CNY to play wii with me!
I have no idea how to use it,
& am deriving no pleasure from that machine beside my tv!

I want to fly...
I want to go overseas.
I want to travel.
I want to go on a holiday!
I want to step on a foreign land,
& just, let my hair down.
.
Thing is,
SCHOOL IS STARTING IN TWO WEEKS.
>:/ HOWWWWW!?!
.



Anyway my mailbox had over 200 emails, so I decided it was time to clear it!
So whilst having my break after making many calls, I went to clear my inbox.
I came across this e-mail Sarah forwarded to me, in year 2007 I think.
.
Part of it wrote:
"I want a dream from God. I want a God-given dream in my heart, like Joseph did. I don’t want to spend my life pursuing my own dream. To get to the end of 70 years, having given my life to getting my dream, and used God to try and get it, and then realised it wasn’t what He wanted, but He gave it to me because He’s so good, He will actually answer my prayer. If I just lay down my life and say, 'Whatever you want Lord, I’m available.' I want to see the visions of God! Not the visions of (another man)."
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This is my heart's cry today, & I pray it forever will be. I want to run this race with a God-given dream, not my own.
.
.
.
.


I found this photo in my mailbox too! Haha, it was taken in 2006 I think :D
Ugh my hair then ><

Ugh I've just been tasked a new assignment at work. I'm supposed to call up the different F&B companies, asking them about the F&B exhibition in Middle East my company is involved in organizing.
&there are AT LEAST, 350 companies for me to call I tell ya.
I'm probably at the 100th. & I'm getting sick of it already.
.
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick"
Tell me about it, I keep having negative response, and it gets a little sick. :/
The different companies either keep on rejecting me, or I don't know, they just give me weird responses.
&I'm telling myself,
I'm not gonna take this personal, I'm not gonna take this personal, I'm not gonna take this personal...........
.
On an irritated note, I FORGOT TO BRING MY SPECS TO WORK!
GOING BLINDXZS.
:(

"It's you, Gwen, it's you"
.
It really is?I need to go back to that place, where I can hear God speak.
So really clear.

.

&cause we all see things in a different way.

We can't really say who is right and who is wrong.

So maybe, you should not just assume something is what you think,

just because you feel it is.

.

Maybe we should all take a step back,

open our eyes.

& look at the bigger picture.

It's Monday, again.
& since I'm not really rich now, I'm staying in the office for lunch!
Eating biscuits & staring at the computer screen.
Someone tell me this isn't the most healthy.
But ah well.
"Money money money, makes me happy in a rich man's world"
.
Anyway I have had a fabulous weekendzxs. :D
Mind-blowing, lovely, amazing.
.
Saturday we had our first cell meeting of the year!
And boy, was it good.
The presence of God was superly strong, and Minghui prophesied so accurately over my life, that I still find it freaky til now. Heh.
It was a heartwarming time of deep encounters. :)
.
Afterwhich we had STEAMBOAT.
I felt I could eat a cowwwww.
And we fellowshipped allllllll the way til ten plus before we headed home.
.
With a Saturday as such, what more can I ask for?
:)
.
Sunday was very gooood too.
It was an amazing service with Pst Tan.
Who looked really good & sharp, heh.
&then it was lunch @ Central.
&shopping with Huiwen & Minghui.
Huiwen left after an hour or so.
Minghui got lots of stuffs!
&if you think it's all clothes and all that she got, you're A BIT wrong.
Hee. I love spending time with Minghui, it's always fulfilling & nice.
.
Yup, basically I loved my weekend :D
Time spent with loved ones can really make me happehhh!
.
It's one long week of work ahead for me,
and it'll be the last.
Cause I'm quitting on Fridayyyyxzs.

Work is getting very funny, in a good way.
I've been laughing insanely at work today.
Let me show you part of what happened.
.
Colleague 1: Eh what sign(horoscope) are you?
Colleague 2: I'm crab *does some crabby action*
Colleague 1: Huh?
Colleague 2: Crabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb.
Colleague 3: *shouts* She's C-R-A-P
Colleague 2: No lah, cancer!
.
-----
.
Colleague 1: So what did they say about your sign?
Colleague 2: It said I'M PRETTY
Colleague 1 stares and pauses for a moment.
Colleague 1: Eh read properly, it may be PETTY.
Colleague 2: Pretty lah..........
.
Haha, okay this is really quite funny :p
.
CG & STEAMBOAT TMR, YAY.
SING A LOT :D EAT A LOT :D FELLOWSHIP A LOT :D
.
I can't digest the fact that school should be starting in two weeks' time for me o.o
6ams, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH. :D
.
I'm at Bettie Booooooperrrrr's house nowwwwwzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I.... Am lost for words.
She just bit me, real painfully. & told me to blog about it.
Yes, that's Bettie. Disgusting.
HAHA :D
.
Bettie: "Ey you type very fast one right?"
I stared at her.
Bettie: "Later when we register(for her poly course), you help me type. Cause I type very slow"
*Bettie gives the sad face*
GWEN BREAKS OUT INTO LAUGHTER.
.
Ah I just lost all inspiration to blog.
Anyway, I more or less kinda settled my tertiary school choices.
It's kinda out of expectation,
but when God moves and does something,
there's nothing we can do. There's nothing I can do.
I'm going for JC instead of poly now,
I was previously quite set on poly.
But I guess God brought me to a point where I changed my mind.
The JCs I'm going for are:
1, SAJC (I'll try to appeal :/ )
2, CJC
3, JJC
.
Yeah, they aren't exactly the best JCs we have in town. But I'm just gonna work hard from there :)
.
This period of time hasn't been easy for me at all. Through this short span of a few days, I've been very stressed. I've shed much tears. I couldn't have been more apprehensive about the decisions I was about to make.
But God never fails. Jere 29:11-13
.
And just today, I realized, as we grow up, we begin to take greater responsibilities over our own lives.
When I just completed my PSLE and was deciding for a Secondary School, seriously I didn't really have much say in it. I had, but my parents still had the authority and major rights to put me in where they think I should be in.
.
However, as I grew up, and was faced with more decision-making opportunities like the subject combination I was going to adopt in Sec 3 & 4, it was all up to me.

&even what school I am going to continue my studies in upon graduation from Secondary School,
my parents left the choice to me.

The burden of making my future happen right gets more heavily enthrusted upon me as I grow older...
And in time to come, I'll see myself making my own decisions on what course I want to take in University, what job I am gonna have in future and who my life partner will be.
.
Of course, in my life, the greatest decision-maker is still always God. I'll let Him lead me :)
.
I guess through all of these phases of life, and decision-making processes, we learn to be more mature people who are more responsible over our own lives...
.
Oh, I'm in a whole hoo-ha of messy thoughts.

If there is no other thing I've learned during my past one over week at work,
at least I have realized adults think deeper and more complicated into the different issues of life.
.
In my office, there are all the political issues and different grumblings & gossips and all sorts.
There are people unhappy with this, & that.
Well, in life, there will always be our 'this's and 'that's to be unhappy about.
.
But I think what matters is that as we grow older, we ought not to grow more complicated in the way we look at things. Deeper, yes. Complicated, no.
But yet, as we grow, I feel we always gotta keep that simplicity in our hearts.
The simplicity that says "yes, i'm living in an imperfect world where all sorts of bad things happen, yet my God is good & He still saves"
That simplicity that goes "wars and fights are taking place all around me, but I know that there's still hope & with whatever I have left, I'm gonna live my life to my best".
.
Now, I'm not talking about being simple-minded and naive, I'm saying keep that simplicity at heart.
We should stop looking at how bad and complicated every situation is and how it is killing you, start realizing you can still live your life with God's grace cause no problem is too big that He can't help us overcome it.
.
God says put away childish things, but keep that child-like nature in you.
That child-like nature which allows you to still enjoy the fun and good of our lifetime.
That child-like nature which keeps you open and curious about the things unknown.
About the things of God you've yet to know.
.
Of course we should be wise lah ya.
Don't dabble into areas you don't know like how it feels to kill someone, black magic or what,
I'll kill you then.
Haha.

I'M GONNA DIE!
BAD ABDOMINAL CRAMPS.
JUST KILL ME,
SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

OLEVEL RESULTS ON 12th JANUARY
.
Yesterday was da day, and it was an emotional rollercoaster for me.
Down, up, down, up, down, up. Haha.
Well, I've got 13 for my L1R5.
It wasn't exactly the best for me nor what I have desired.
But like what Minghui had told me,
I've improved and that's what matters :)
&I've done my best.
.
So, yep, I'm glad. & I know God will only allow our future to take a turn for what He really allows. He'll ultimately make it be the best for us. Just like entering into Nanhua. I'm sure you don't know how much I detested this school when I first came. Haha! But, well! Who knows. This turned out to be the place where I got to know God. Where I met yuntian, and she invited me to church! Also, it's the place where I found many good friends and forged many of my closest friendships.
So, yup, whatever the result, wherever we end up in, God can turn things around for His best plan :) or maybe it is part of His best plan for us!
.
Mm, now the headachey part for me is choosing the right school to continue my studies.
JC/Poly.
God..........................................

It was a cool weekend that has just passed!
.
On Saturday, we had our THANKSGIVING GATHERING! :D
Visions for the new year were shared, awards were given out, different ones were appreciated.
That's what I love about thanksgiving. While we acknowledge and thank God for the things that have happened in the past, we don't stop just there, but plan for our future & trust in God to direct us through it all :)
.
Minghui gave out eight awards this year!
Best Newcomer- Chien Han Sheng
Best Refreshment IC- Tay Hui Wen
Best Evangelist- Jasmine Koo
Best-dressed Award- Jane Koh
Servant's Heart Award- Aaron Low
Most Loud Award- Hu Wei Jie
Punctuality Award- Justine Yeo
Barnabus Award- Gwendolyn Tan
.
Congrats to all ye award-winners, you guys have done well in 2008!
Let's continue to outdo ourselves in '09!
&even to those who didn't get any award this time round, we all know you've contributed in your small & big ways :)
Let's strive in '09 together!

OUR BIGGEST AWARD WINNER & CHAMPION, Wong Ming Fei :)
She's all the eight awards summed up together!
In her hands are the gifts from our cell. Don't underestimate them k.
They're the blood and sweat of all the members, heh :)
We just love our Minghui to bits!

Here's the gift-making process.
The stars we gave Minghui kinda almost travelled to all the ends of Singapore.
Practically everywhere the members go, we'll be folding stars.
Vivo, Clementi, Orchard, Bukit Batok, Bukit Timah, Yew Tee, bla bla bla.

After thanksgiving gathering, Serene Hansheng Jane and I us sisters went Mr Prata!
I felt so sick after Mr Prata.
& true enough, I went home and realized I had a fever of a smashin' 38++ degrees.

My fever lasted through til Sunday night. I'm still feeling a tat sick now. Ugh. Go away sick bugs! Or I'll bring you to Terminator Doctor tonight!

Anyway Sunday was an awesomez servicex with Rev John Bevere. He's so awesome I tell ya. Really. A 40over-year-old guy with the energy and vibe of a young man aged 20 plus 30.
He dresses well, looks great, and most importantly he's a powerful preacher :}

&it lasted til about six plus before I was home on Sunday.

So that was my weekend. It would be more enjoyable if I were less sick ><

If only you understood...
.
I'd be less weary emotionally.

I'm at work nowwwww.
Feeling groggy from all the searching I have to do.
Not just searching;
searching with no results! :(
Gah, headache-ing.
.
Tomorrow's thanksgiving gathering for my cell!
Are you guys excited? :D
Thanksgiving time is one of my favourite times of the year.
It's where you begin to appreciate people around you, and celebrate the friendships that have been forged.
It's also a time where you really give thanks to God and friends around who have really made your year happen for you :)
So, yes, I'm sure tmr will be an awesome time!
.
&TGIF!
It's been a while since I've last celebrated Fridays, cause well I was on holiday!
So Friday or not, it makes no difference to me.
But now that I'm working, oh TGIF. No more 9ams!
Then again, that's not true. I think this weekend speaks of early mornings for me :(
Baaaa.
.
7 more mins to lunchtime. Tahhhhh. I'm gonna do more work, then go to Westmall and get some stuffs. Hokakaka. Office comp lagging like mad manxzxz.

DAVID COOK
CHRIS DAUGHTRY
.

Someone say OH. MY. GOSH. YES! David Cook & Chris Daughtry are the hottest things ever. Like, their songs are good. Their syle is cool. &&well, the aura they release is :O hot. Haha I love them :D

.

Was listening to their songs, thus this post. :D

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. "1 message received"
From Charlene Liu:
"results confirm out on the 12 :) spread the word around :)"
.
.
Bzzzzzzzzzzz.
From Jane Koh:
"Hey results will be out on the 12th"
.
.
When at home,
Dad(in the living room ): GWENNNNNNNNNN!
Gwen(in my room): Ya?
Dad: GWENNNNNNNNN!
Gwen: Ya?
Mom: YOUR RESULTS COMING OUT ON MONDAY
Gwen: I KNOW!
.
.
In the office today,
Colleague 1: Next monday getting results uh?
Gwen: Ya.
Colleague 2: Oh really uh?
Gwen: Yup
Colleague 3 walks in office.
Colleague 3: Monday getting results right?
Gwen: Ya.
.
.
AHHHHHH. HAHAHHAHA.
Yes, monday is the day!!!
May it be a day of rejoicing for all of you out there and myself,
amen.
Come what may, remember only what God allows will happen.
&all things will ultimately work out for good for those who love Him.

Unafraid what's ahead,
You are always there before.
My whole world,
Your design.
You are always there,
Just right behind.
.
Just right behind, watching me. Looking over me. Guarding me.
.
I'm in a whirlwind of thoughts.
Have I done wrong?
I do make mistakes.
I'm human.

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King Jr.
.
So true. It's beautiful to just have friends so close & faithful; that you just know they will always be there with you whether in your darkest days or best hours. &to know you can always run to them, and they will, just be there. It's not how they can comfort you, but rather, just their presence.

IT'S 2009!!!
One whole year has passed, and we've just begun to set out feet on a whole new journey yet again.
.
Sometimes, I just feel..
2009 may not go so easy for me.
Challenges & setbacks will come..
There probably would be times where I feel it'd be hard for me to get back on my feet again,
&keep moving.
.
But amidst all these thoughts,
a Sunday morning can really make a difference.
A time spent in God's love can really cast away all fears.
A gentle assurance brought me to tears & a renewed faith.
.
.

&God said, "No matter what, I'll hold your hand through it all"
.
&really, that's all I ever need to know to kick start a great 2009. That's all I need to hear to bring me through the next 360 days to come. That's all I want to remember through my best & worst times.